Nuisance|Wilford Warfstache Ending

"....Wilford."

"What??" Mark gasped, his eyes widening in shock as he stared at you. "[Y/n]...y-you can't be serious-"

"Sorry, Markimoo~ But it seems she has already made her decision. Nooooo takebacks!" Wilford declared as he slid over to you, happy as can be, before taking your hand into his. "I will most certainly enjoy any excursion we may venture upon, Miss [L/n]~"

"Yeah, yeah, don't get too friendly now," you warned, tearing your hand from his grasp. "I'm only doing this so Mark gets a break from you, so don't try anything or I will send you right back here."

Wilford nodded in understanding, adjusting the straps to his pink suspenders while chuckling all the while. "You have my word, madam...now let's be on our way."

With that he began to march towards the door, but before you could follow Mark grabbed your arm, pulling you back beside him. He clearly didn't seem too happy about your decision. "[Y/n]...I appreciate what you're trying to do....but..just promise me that you'll make sure he doesn't hurt you or anyone, because if he does-"

"Don't worry Mark," you told him. "I won't let anything happen..I promise." You smiled, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"....alright." After some hesitation, Mark let go of your arm, allowing you to leave his house and meet the journalist outside.

"Took you long enough," Wilford huffed, putting his hands on his hips. "So where would you like to go? I don't really care...I'd just like to have a nice chit-chat with ya."

You hummed a bit in thought. You didn't want to go to your house just because it'll be boring, but you also didn't wanna go anywhere that may have a lot of people in fear that there will be a 110% chance that he'll kill someone.

"Well...there's a small park nearby. Maybe we can just walk and talk there? It'll be dark out so nobody will question why I'm with a goofy man with a pink mustache." 

He smiled, bobbing his head up and down in agreement. "That sounds like a splendid idea~! Let us go and enjoy the sounds of murder--I mean nature, shall we?" He offered you his arm. Sighing, you took it and linked arms with him as you both headed to the park.

'I may have made a terrible mistake in picking this doofus..'
........

"......but he said "Kill me! Kill me now!" What the bloody hell was I suppose to do??"

"I dunno," you shrugged, sarcasm lacing your voice, "maybe not do that because he didn't mean it literally and because that's what the solution to the puzzle was?"

As you walked through the park, Wilford was telling you the story of how he "accidentally" killed one of his victims on a game show he hosted called "Disc of Riches". Least to say....you were absolutely baffled at how literally he took things.

Wilford stopped and gave you a weird look. "What? But I thought I was doin' him a favor!! I thought that's what he wanted!"

You sighed in irritation. There was no point in arguing with. Either he keeps denying that he's in the wrong or he just doesn't understand the concept of death.

"....fine, whatever you say," you replied, deciding to end the conversation there. "Can we sit down somewhere? I'm getting a bit tired."

"But of course," Wilford agreed, his smiled returning as you both searched for a bench. Once you found one by the lake you sat down, sighing in content. "Whew.." You muttered, wiping the sweat off your forehead. "Even at nighttime this stupid L.A heat is killing me..."

"It's killin' you??" The pink-mustached man repeated, eyes wide. "Oh poor thing...perhaps I can put an end to your misery.." He muttered so quietly that even you didn't hear it.

"Well we can always head back to-"

*Click*

"....wait." Turning your head, you gasped as you saw Wilford aiming his pistol at you. "Oh my God WILFORD ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!!" You shrieked, scooting to the other side of the bench, eyes wide in terror. "PUT THAT THING DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"B-But you said-" He tried to protest, but he yelped when you snatched the weapon right out of his hands. You were surprised, but also proud, of your quick reflexes.

A smirk crossed your features, but it quickly went away when you saw him pull out the knife he attempted to kill Mark with. "I mean the gun would've been quicker and less messy, buuuuut my options are limit-AH!"

You swiped that right out of his grasp, too.

Wilford glared at you, clenching his fists in anger. "[Y/n]! I can't believe you!! I have the utmost respect for women.....but what you just did right now is the most atrocious and unforgiv-"

"You're really gonna tell me that, Will?" You huffed angrily, silencing him. "Considering that what you did in the past is even more atrocious and unforgivable?!!" His eyes widened in shock, but you weren't finished yet. "Listen..this needs to stop because you can't keep assuming that every time someone says the word "kill" it means they want to die!! Now I see why Mark didn't want me to hang out with you....you're a crazy nuisance that can't get a simple fucking concept through your goddamn skull!!! Maybe I should put a bullet in it so that it can."

Wilford stared at you; for once in his entire existence... he was speechless. You continued to glare at him, the gun and knife grasped tightly in your hands, although your gaze slightly soften when you saw his expression change from distraught to outright sadness.

"If that's what you want...then do it...I won't stop ya. Maybe that's just what I need..." He murmured, his gaze moving away from yours. You then heard him sniffle a bit.

Great, now the guilt over yelling at him was kicking in. Even if he was a murderer, shooting him would make you no better than him.

"...no..I'm not gonna do that." You put the weapons down and scooted closer to him, giving him a hug. "I'm sorry, Will...I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

"I....I won't, [y/n]," he finally said, slowly returning the embrace before letting go. "Wilford Warfstache is too tough to cry," he declared with faux enthusiasm as he got out a handkerchief and dried his eyes with it.

"I must confess that...I am haunted day and night by the ghosts of the people I killed. I started to believe that maybe...it was me that was the problem and not everyone else...but I dunno." He then sighed dramatically, shaking his head. "Oh where did everythin' go so wrong?"

'Sometimes I wonder the same thing, Will,' you thought, picking up the weapons and looking at them, then back to Wilford before sighing in defeat.

"I'll give them back to you later."

"What?" He looked up at you, surprised. "You aren't gonna turn 'em in to the police or anythin'?"

"Nah," you shook your head, safely stowing the knife away into your pocket. "But I don't want this nice evening to be ruined by your recklessness. I'd rather not have our hangout end in bloodshed."

Wilford frowned slightly. "But earlier you said you didn't want to hang out with m-"

"That's what Mark said, and....I only said that because I was lashing out in anger," you told him, looking away. "I didn't actually mean any of it. I hope you forgive me."

A chuckle from the reporter brought your attention back to him. "No need to apologize twice, darlin'," he waved it off with a small smile. "All is forgiven. But surely I've used those weapons for some good, no?"

You gave him a confused look. "Umm....have you?"

"Ah yes! Only once, though. At the end of our conference meeting about my new T.V program, I put the poor abomination known as "Septiplier" out of their misery. I feel like my actions there were truly right and just." Wilford finished with a chuckle, adjusting his suspenders.

You shrugged. "Well...I guess that is a good thing. That ship needed to sail to a place far, far away, anyway." With a small yawn, you stood up. "How about we head over to my house and talk some more? I'd actually like to get to know more about you, Will."

"I thought you'd never ask, [y/n]," he answered, jumping to his feet with eagerness. "And I could say the same about you. Does this mean I'll get my weapons ba-?"

"No."

"But...but-"

"Ask me again and I will throw them in the lake," you threatened, holding up the pistol.

Wilford gasped in horror, eyes wide. "My goodness, [y/n]..you have some nerve to threaten the great Warfstache like this! You're definitely not like the other ladies I've met..."

You shrugged, chuckling a bit. "What can I say? I'm one of a kind~"